6.16.2024

☆Brief Vent★

✿I feel disappointed and sluggish in my journey of a game dev. I conceptualized this game idea along with another one three to four years ago. I wish I could've made a significant amount of progress to complete it and have it be playable and replayable. 

The game was made to comfort me and give me something to do when I'm aimlessly bored on technology. I tried my best to understand everything I needed to and still barely any progress is being made except for drawing sprites, card games and restarting and going on again.

I recently just got Game Maker so I hope to make a lot of progress.

My game will not be in 8-bit. I think bitcrushers are genuinely an enigma for me.  I'll probably make it entirely in 2D art. Even though my drawing tablet is finally cooperating with me, I have no motivation. 

Everything feels so unfair. Why do girls who have no morals or self respect get to be confident in their appearance and be supported and protected and defended? I worked a lot on myself and I think I deserve better. It was never about ethinicity for me. I hate how my parents slow down my development so much and placed me in a box to the point where it's not even for protection, it's because they are easy to feel uncomfortable. So what if I wanted to be worshipped? There's worse people out there. I try so hard to be a diligent peacekeeper and shit still gets thrown in my face. I'm on a long waiting list on waiting to be happy to the point where I had to cope to make only myself happy.

I finally have some peace but I wish my brother can finally fucking move out already. All he does is abuse everyone here.

That's it for now.

Bye.✿

- Cassandra Zuo

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