Harrassment

 i still have a feeling im getting harrassed by someone i shouldnt have tried helping last winter. she seemed to be putting on a facade that i couldn't read the lines through. what i do online is my business. if you are uncomfortable, i dont see why you are forcing yourself to be around me. i refuse to sympathize or empathize with you or any of your followers, so please leave me alone. thank you. 

i am literally begging for peace. stop with your creepy obsession over me.

then, i got falsely reported on discord. i hope i dont lose my account.

i just wanted to relax :I 

- zuo

The Essence of Animation (specifically anime)

 Hopefully writing this will make me a better animator magically-

*ahem*

So to understand a complicated animation's process, here is the breakdown.

1. storyboard

a static sketch of what is happening, and is usually accompanied with a description of what is supposed to be happening. so i suppose it's one (1) comic panel.

2. sketch

the artist tries their best to sketch out the movements of the storyboard as a animation.

3. lineart

a cleanup artist draws the lineart over the sketch and erases the sketch layer, or makes it not visible.

4. coloring

a colorist (not the racist kind) colors in the lineart by referring to the reference photos of the character.

5. extra tidbits

the camera layer is controlled to focus on specific aspects of the animation. 

there can also be extra things added like sparkles or something.

-

i learnt animation in high school so i guess this is based off my own process.

hope this was interesting and helpful to read or something

bai bai

- cassandra zuo

All Modern Magical Girl Fans do is Complain

 I had the unfortunate experience of watching another modern magical girl fan's video of their fluent Yapanese, talking about how all of the toys made for Ojamajo Doremi basically suck eggs because they didn't last 20 years to their liking.

Why are people so stupid?

God forbid that Toei Animation DID NOT MAKE ANY MERCHANDISE WHATSOEVER like for a lot of other franchises I'm a fan of. I felt like this person was deeply ungrateful because they are ignorant to the cultural understanding of why they chose these designs for the toys, and were too stupid to even consider the fact the toy might not look as advertised, because you're buying it fucking over a decade later or so. THEY STILL HAD THE AUDACITY TO COLLECT ALL OF THEM DESPITE HAVING A CONSISTENT ANNOYANCE/ISSUE WITH THE QUALITY.

I almost lost brain cells if I did not learn the emotion of annoyance. I might become a magical girl youtuber for spite now.. there's only one problem. Magical girl shows and things are deeply sentimental to me and personal in that fact. I could easily say I grew up on it so I don't want to be too vulnderable. I could easily copy her content in my own youtube channels, but I find those kind of videos too revealing about myself. It would be fun if I had a significant other to make these videos with, or to hang out with while I copy the concepts in the videos but not really publishing them or something. 

A lot of these girls are really vulnerable online. 

I still think that youtuber is fucking stupid though.

That's it.

- Zuo

Island Journal :: Entry four

 Hi.

Or, should I say, Aloha, now?

Uhm. 

Ruby moved in. 

When I entered her house, it immediately gave me a whiplash nostalgia of who I used to be. Moki, or moro. When I was fourteen to fifteen years old, dating my ex, and how he perceived me. Her room almost exactly how I set up mine! 

I'm really happy that Ruby is in my island because her basic nature is adorable. She felt comfortable enough to start sitting down and reading a book as soon as I entered. I hope we can be the bestest of friends, my little gem.

I was able to update the town flag. It's a hibiscus flower with some extra aesthetic designs around it. Sorry, no photos (for now).

I don't know if I'll be able to invite people to my island online due to my Yandere Simulator themed area that will be coming up as soon as I unlock the design kiosk. I have seen horror themed islands where murder was alluded to, though.. 

TBH, what is one innocent way you can use a Iron Wand? XD

If you want to be my friend on Nintendo Switch, please leave your friend code here in the comments. I'm Freya.

I just changed my town tune to "Invader Invader" by Kyary Pamyu Pamyu.

I listen to her music because it reminds me of better times. 

Anyways.

I was able to change it to something from Oshare Majo Love & Berry, thanks to someone on the Bell Tree forums!

I visited two islands today.

Wildflower, and the player was Amy. Her town tune was cool and she visited my island as well. She complimented my dance floor which was very kind of her.

Then, I visited Hawaii! I'm grateful to visit some form of that state, lol. The layout was really cool, and Jake (the owner of the island, it appears) was really welcoming and friendly. There was also a carnival exhibit that really felt realistic due to the overlapping of music and sound effects. Exploring that town revived the spark of interest I had in the series initially that I thought could only be found in New Leaf, so thank you to Jake and Amy for these new experiences.

- Snowy/Zuo

sugarbunnies watch diary

 so i tried my best to sanitize my watch because i didn't wash it before. i tried my best to avoid getting water in it because i paid a hefty price for it, and this is out of print. unfortunately it's really glitchy but seems to turn into a angel number device. meaning, only showing numbers that have significant meaning. so it is what it is, but it hurt my soul a bit to see it as non-functioning.

maybe my ken-kun is possessing it. 😈

Animal crossing STRESS

 Ugh. New horizons seemed to attract the most obnoxious groups of people online. the people who make immature jokes, the people who are proud of knowing next to nothing about the characters' names or lores, and more.

i tried to watch a video that advised me on what to do when im bored and i regret giving him ad revenue money. he sounded so condescending in the video, as if all of his viewers are ignorant little kids that think they know everything. that video was terrible. the editing was impressive and memorable, though.

i don't know what it is with so many ac:nh content creators. they practically sacrificed their own audience from their own stupid insecurities and now it's so difficult to find people in their right minds to play with. so many people have abandoned their island or reset their hard work. i'm a private person at best so i don't know if i'll make acnh videos, i planned some in the past. 

that video was terrible because he was just forcing anyone who didn't know what to really do to become a completionist. the viewer would get overwhelmed as they're going on and reset their hard work and may be forced to completely forget the game. NO.

i hate that youtuber. 

other youtubers, i can't stand due to my own mini irritations to how they act and speak.

i hate a ton of people who got this game for attention, but the game honestly felt empty eye candy when i first got used to it. that's it, really.

- zuo

Island Journal :: Entry 3

 Hi.

So, I made some progress in my island but I find some frustration bubbling up at the surface. I feel irritated that even though I plotted three houses for my future villagers, I must look for furniture that they need surrounding their house and inside of their house and craft it. I wish they can just move in, already. 

Someone named Doc moved in, so that was interesting.

I'm excited to have a lot of free time after I did all the necessary basic tasks for this island to thrive, like before. I need to mine the money rocks, then shake all the trees, keep the oranges safe in storage and then sell excess stuff on Nookazon or to the Nooklings. 

There's not a lot to really write today.

Maybe I'm just in love with aesthetically pleasing towns, because I find reading blog posts on other people's progress incredbily boring, and I feel like watching speed build videos are a parasite tumor to your brain because they are purposefully not adding enough effort to steal your ideas or something as you watch their videos. I can only watch these types of videos when I'm completely finished, but even then.

I was able to get a free Sunflower rug from a kind person on Nookazon. I was also able to get many gifts as well. My heart is leaping! Thank you~

They fufilled one of my wishlist items, which was to get a bug cage.

- Snowy

Is it wrong to appeal to the male gaze?

No, I don't think it is overall wrong to appeal to the male gaze. As women, it's a natural yearn for them to desire that, because men are the opposite sex and how biology works is that they must have a compatible mate to reproduce with. There is no right or wrong way for a woman to appeal to the male gaze because it's subjective of what can be interpreted as self destructive for the woman or not. Only she is aware of how self destructive it can be, if possible.

So I think we should all give each other some space online and stop trying to say "she's yearning for the male gaze" as a pathetic insult. I guess it's only valid as an insult if you're a lesbian. If you find yourself saying this phrase, then you already freaking understand why they are behaving the way that they are. Whatever reasoning you describe for women seeking for the male gaze and how it is invalid tells a lot about your inner mind rather than the comments you are targeting those words to.

So yeah, I think it is natural for women to want men to gaze at them because locked eye contact leads to life going on and evolving, with one child at a time. As individuals, we cannot let others get in the way of our race of survival and reproducing our gene line. 

That's it.

Island Journal :: Entry 2

 Hi.

Ok so I admittedly time travelled to a maximum of three days. I'm trying to grind my progress in the game by unlocking the shop first so I can have a more advanced island.

To be honest, the concept of a island for a game named "Animal Forest" in it's native language is too incredibly stupid. Whoever came up with this idea must've been projecting hard, and it's not as creative as pocket camp. Four years have passed since I got this darn game, and I've been struggling on how to make all of my ideas work. I admit I kind of gave into the cash cow nature of this game's marketing scheme just because it's an HD animal crossing game for the Nintendo Switch, but still. I think this is a weird concept for a Doubutsu no Mori game and it's disappointing. I want more of a focus on a forest theme. I would love a combination of a camp and a forest theme, not this. I want more freedom and dialogue like New Leaf as well.

I'm trying my best to enjoy this game, but a lot of times, a lot of parts of this game feels underwhelming, especially if you don't have a clear cut idea in your mind on how you want your island to look like. That's why the internet gives me lots of ideas.

I wrote another post of what I'm planning. Please don't copy me.

I got free items from one of the Nook kids for giving materials, which I don't remember from my previous gameplays. Fortunately enough, one of the wallpapers matched for what I'm looking for, but I still need to go exploring for the right wallpapers and floorings that match my plans.

That's it.

Thanks for reading.

- Snowy

AC:NH ISLAND PLANS

 Hi. My Island name is Maluhia. Here is my plans for it:

Themes

□ Stone/gravel (not really a lot of sand)

□ Lots of greenery 

     □ Flowers: Blue, Purple, Pink

         - Lily of the Valley

□ EGL Princess

□ Mushroom

□ Dedicated My Melody area

    - her wand design on the ground

□ General magical girl area

    - ojamajo doremi

    - ppgz

    - tokyo mew mew

Areas

□ Zen Stone Garden (For Ken-chan/zenn)

□ Stone hopping area (instead of using the pole to jump)

   - There will be 5 stones or blocks to hop on. 

□ Wedding area (on the beach)

   - I will bring back the watermelon umbrella to place somewhere on the beach.

□ Princess area (near my house)

    - mermaid items nearby

    - pastel kei flooring nearby (striped vertical pastel wooden flooring)

    - Lily wand on the ground to change into a pastel kei coord.

□ Cloudy area

□ Rainbow section

    - Aesthetic: Kidcore

□ Playground area

     - wooden blocks

□ Winter forest

    - located above where redd would spawn

    - holiday area

    - water meditation area

    - stone ramp for the snowmen in the winter

    - some green clover patterns

    - camping area on the left side

□ Party area

    - rainbow dance floor

    - barbeque area

□ Garden area behind Nook's Cranny (as a owe to the original game + wild world's task)

□ Keroppi area (near waterfall)

    - lily pads designs

□ Yandere Simulator area

    - Iron wand

 - In a video, there will be a BGM change.

✅ performance area

    - wooden floor panels

     - puppies are in the audience

Rooms

□ Arcade room

    - center, main room

□ Room dedicated to dressing up

 - forward, upwards room

  - There will be duplicates of dresses hanging up 

 - In a video, there will be a BGM change.

  - There will be a poster of Muffy

   - "Halloween" aesthetic room

□ Kitchen

   - left room in the center

□ Living Room

- There will be a heated table with a blanket connected to it. 

- Multiple bookshelves

- right room in the center

□ Relaxing room

    - #agere

    - attic

  - There will be a bed & couches

 - There will be posters of my favorite characters

- There will be a computer area and a Kangel dress above the PC.

- There will be displays of a mixture of my own original designs & designs that were made by others.

- Pink wardobe is there

□ Slumber party room 

    - basement

    - rainbow brite dress

Ideas

- Designs

✅ Kaomoji flower girl shirt (black background with purple girl)

✅ Love & Berry - Love shirt

✅ Kirarin Revolution uniform

✅ Kuroneko dress

✅ MINX shirt (pink)

- Other ideas

□ Sunday in the Park Music Video

    - Features Kimonos

    - Romaji and English Lyrics

Assets

□ Various mushrooms scattered around the island.

✅ Only 1 bridge will be built.

□ Clannad Nagisa Uniform (hung up in my room)

□ Rubber ducky fishing rod near the bridge

✅ Non-binary flag

✅ Flag with Buffalo Bell's face on it

✅ Awesome face flag

□ Momoe Nagisa Standout

- To be added on later -

i always hated animation memers

 falling into that trap belief that "art is subjective", it honestly feels tiresome to look at the new animation memes. in recent times as of this year and 2023, it seems like a lot of animators have found a more stable identity so i'm excited to see what will come out later this year as more people have more free time.

but i always hated how self absorbed and over confident a lot of animation memers seemed to be. they always seem to trying to impress a invisible crowd (might be suffering with imposter syndrome that's suppressed), hurting the characters that they want the audience to adore so much and more nonsense.

it's full of hypocritical work.

i feel like i have to mentally let go of such garbage in my mental before moving on to my next task because i don't want to internalize any of that garbage. animation memes honestly felt like a disease.

that's all i have to say. im just glad the "animation meme" community is getting better because there's nothing funny about that cringe.

signing off,

zuo

I Wish They'd All Just Die

 Ken-kun and I's theme song

The curse of "Peach" Girl

 Hi.

So this is a post about a friend that I had the unfortunate experience of meeting.

Her name was "peach" in Japanese. She seemed like a nice and bubbly person. I convinced her to make a discord server for her friends because she seemed so interesting and attracted a lot of interesting people. I had no choice but to realize it was a facade, but I'm grateful I realized sooner than later so I became more wiser of a person.

I ended up telling her about my trauma because she wasn't afraid to share that she had a unknown trauma (unknown, as in unknown to me and her friends) surrounding men, even though she was reading explicit sexual content involving men, but that doesn't really concern me. We realized we were reading the same content, so that was a funny moment and made me realize that I should stay friends with her because we had that funny thing in common. Well, big mistake. I try to not be naive and be accepting, especially because she tried to declare herself a "NEET" by not going to school for 7 years, drinking gatorade and consuming asian pop culture (she's a spanish filipino), I started to assume that she didn't have a lot of experience with "flaky" people such as.. herself. 

Here is the deal breaker. I couldn't stand her whining on Twitter. Complaining that she's pathetic because she doesn't know a lot of languages that would be useful in her home country and just complaining how it sucks to stay at home all the time, even though it was her literal choice to stay home for years and she has parents to help out at home. I couldn't help but feel seriously hurt by this because I was forced to go to a abusive school environment where I was incredibly sick, almost on death's door and she has the audacity to complain about her choice. She also wastes time on talking to her online friends, writing these sob story tweets, be needlessly overly negative for attention at that and engaging in Japanese pop culture. She could've spent that time applying herself to get the education she keeps saying she wants to pursue so badly. That's why I never pitied that person, and her tweet about how she wanted to be a middle-class american white girl made me wince because it made me realize how incredibly ungrateful she is, and that was probably her strange idea of what she believed me to be like, since she knew I was American. 

She had huge judgemental undertones to my past times. We were both seventeen when we met but she was really weird. I explained to her that I was older than her because even though she was born in a beginning month of 2006, I was born in a late month in 2005. She took this personally. I couldn't be overly forgiving about that because it honestly annoyed me. I started to be close minded of people who are younger than me once more. I already had a horrible experience in HS with stupid stalkers.

There was this nice guy who joined her server that was right up my alley. I joined discord again that year because I wanted to make friends and I was tired of wallowing around in my loneliness for months (I did that the entire summer). "Peach girl" can easily be one of those heartless people that could tell people to kill theirselves but she just holds back, she probably holds back a lot so people won't realize her friendliness is a facade of what she probably wishes to be.

She guilted me for being interested in him, because even though he was honestly acting offputting, he was talking to both of us at the same time but I was vibing because I felt like I found the one while she was suppressing how she felt about him. I guess in the game of love, I was more ahead than her because I was aware of how I felt and go forward, I suppose. I don't really like to brag about these types of things though.

Dealing with my ex boyfriend who kept saying stuff that my ex-boyfriend should be in jail and is disgusting and all this other stuff (He was a adult while I was underage), it made it worse that he was a christian because so was I back then.. with "peach girl" telling me I absolutely must talk to a therapist about this and get off discord (I was going on discord behind my parents back because everyone in my college environment was INCREDIBLY boring and plain) no matter what, I felt pressured to listen to them. I couldn't feel strong enough to ignore them because I just wanted company, empathy and a sense of belonging.

That guy I met is really weird but I will forever appreciate his kindness and I wish I was his. He showed a interest in my novelty interests that are rare to come across and I just, love him, because we both enjoy taboo forbidden stuff. I just want to move on so I can let go of him because his behavior is absolutely strange, arguably more stranger than the groomer I had to deal with as a child in 2014-2020.

I blocked "peach girl" because I had enough of what seems to be like her mirroring her mother. I forgot to mention she enjoyed creepypasta so she tried to make herself look unsettling as possible in her selfies for attention, and it was a interesting act but it triggered me because she looked like an ideal I used to have in my childhood so I really didn't say anything towards her attention-seeking actions online and she was seemingly mocking me "even though that was not her intent" when I posted a reaction image of a girl crying as my reaction to the cute guy talking to her and showing some signs of interest in that bitch and she made it a stupid fucking emoji in her stupid fucking server that I hope got demolished. She was attention seeking on Twitter with a controversial website as the freaking icon on her desktop along with "hot games that weird creepy men she definitely doesn't crave the gaze over" on her wallpaper as well while barely knowing ANYTHING about the games herself except for "This is what weird men like lol" while having her hair in pigtails and fetishizing herself as the pinned tweet on her page.

She took a screenshot of my private twitter account where I tried to follow her and she just made a dramatic post being like "why was I blocked?". Several hundred posts of "I'm so sad" later, she deactivated, it appears. I was fucking happy. It almost became a re-ennactment of School Days, where I admit I was like Sekai (but the guy showed interest in me first), but I was more like Kotonoha due to my nature and how I responded to him, and "peach girl" was Sekai. The guy was Makoto due to how perverted he is...

Anyways, I'm done writing. I guess I shouldn't be ashamed of my own attention seeking mannerisms, if I wasn't beaten or verbally abused for doing that as a child. That's why the internet is a safe place for many individuals. But to exist just to attention seek like this dumb girl is just sad. 

That's it. Thanks for reading, I guess.

- Zuo

:: entry ten

 I'm changing health professionals, so I gave her a thank you card. I hope it made her happy. She got a bit angry at me today but I forgave her, as she apologized too. She complimented my creative passion and style and more, so I am truly grateful for that experience and meeting her, thank you. 💚

I'll be working on my animation today. I hope to make lots of progress because it's a lot. The song is very complicated, and all. I hope that I won't be disappointed of what I make!

I finally feel free. I can concentrate much more now, thanks for me being on the right medication.

I got kaomoji socks, yep, I couldn't believe they existed either! ^^

I don't know why I can't be productive in my animation work. I have lots of free time and I have determination within me. I want to create already, but I want to make sure I can be satisfied as well.

There was someone with a similar name to Ken delivering my Panda Express (as in username) but unfortunately my brother ruined the encounter by just rudely going downstairs first while eavesdropping on my conversation with my mother to get the food so that was kind of harsh :/ 

I can't let go of Ken.. I'm happy he told me his real name. :>

That's it for today, thanks for reading my blog.

:: entry nine

 ‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.     .❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。 

 hi friends.

i had guyanese food for breakfast today, so that was interesting. i got barbeque chicken with vegetable lo mein. is it weird i have a strange favoritism towards panda express' lo mein? i can never get enough of it and i like to put sauce on it. i know some people may regard it as plain, but it's nice, oki?

one of my uncles is guyanese, so that's cool.

anyways, today i'll be going to the temple. this is the first time i'm going to this specific one.  a chance of plans. I won't be going there today due to time constraints, but i'm excited to go there nonetheless. I might go there with my crocs.

i don't think i can make time to animate on the weekends, the weekends is for drawing and i don't want to burn myself out. i also like to play video games on the weekend as well. i'll eventually be going back to school soon. 

I went outside with my father to do some errands. I wore my cool crocs again. I got a free green lantern croc pin from the anime fair I went to yesterday with my purchase of a Snorlax keychain, so that was kind of the retailer. 

I had a burger from Five Guys. I realize why I might not like pickles on heavy burgers like mine, it feels overwhelming to eat. Without pickles, it's a simpler meal.

I spoke to my friends and showed one of them a Oshare Majo Love & Berry song.

I had a dream that my old friend from 2016 came back and told me how much he loved me. It would be nice to hear more affectionate words these days. It felt real because it aligned with an accurate reality of what could be hypothetical hidden feelings.

I'm trying to be productive before the day ends because my day was once again disorganized due to a last-minute change of plans.

I think that's it for today. Thank you

2000's candycore perfume

 for my tenth birthday in 2015, i got three candy scented perfumes! i was going through a candy phase ever since i saw sugar rush in wreck it ralph in theaters all those years ago (in 2013) so i was internally grateful to get these!

i had these for a long time but they still smell so vibrant! i wish someone can make a drink out there that tastes like how they smell, hehe. the scents really comforted me growing up. i don't really like to wear it outside though unless i have a outfit that would match the scent.

the scents i got right now are grape gum drop and cherry mousse! i really wanted to try a cherry mousse after getting that scent.. ww

the brand is avon and i guess it's called "mmm... candy!". i don't know how my life slowly became more stressful after i got these, but i guess the more i used it the more happy and at peace i became, so yeah. maybe i can spray these on my pretty cure dolls? i dunno.

the graphic design is so cool.

so if i were to review this candy-scented perfume.. i would rate it 7/10.

hm

 on my other blog, why is all of my poems about idealization of death, yearning of love and more? 

home from my anime fair

 so i'm home from my very first anime fair. 

part of me feels stupid that i had to be self isolated for so long from my favorite things. i feel like i was opening up near the ending of elementary school. i chose to come online because my parents always lie to me, saying that they'll always take me somewhere i'd like to go and it never happens. 

so naturally i am miserable. i don't even want to describe the living conditions. 

it hurts when people described me as only "sheltered" because i know that inside that there's a lot of good traits within me. i wish that i had more time to self develop. i know that i'm more than a "sheltered" girl. if i didn't self advocate for myself in online circles, i would've been a nervous wreck that's stuck inside of her own shell and never break free. i feel like i would've gotten hurt, and obviously life is not like a anime episode played out.

my life is depressing. that's why i'm in a era of idealizing death but at the same time, how life is going is confirming my lifestyle choices so i don't want to hear anything about people trying to say that i am a loser or something. i can bully people too. i already had to delete one of my comfort blogs due to harassment from a stranger i thought was my friend, they sent their other "friends" to attack me and it was so uncomfortable. 

it hurts how society is, to be honest. i want people to try to get to know me, too but i'm not going to take anyone's disinterest in me personally. i understand i'm not entitled to anyone's time and it's vice-freaking-versa. this experience is making me question all of my dreams. why do pale skinned sheltered people get to succeed and are coddled more, while darker skin people are more ignored and whatnot? and when there is someone in the spotlight that's not the typical kind of person, they tend to self destruct or ruin the image that a lot of people worked hard to protect, a overall image, not one that lives in one's head.

i don't hate myself, fortunately. but it's thanks to me caring for myself for all these years. it's safe to say that i won't be attending a lot of events as often as i hoped.

i have to admit that it hurts to see other people getting socialization opportunities too. it hurts that no one really tries to get to know me, which honestly, makes me more excited for my suicidal plans as well.

i try my best in a lot of fields. 

i didn't cosplay because this is my first time going to an event.

i brought a cute pokemon sticker and the guy put candy in the bag! i can't.. believe this..!

i felt a bit flustered, to be honest. i get that it's a sweet treat but that was so kind of him. i think i developed another crush but i feel really happy because it's a crush in person and not online for once. i doubt i'll ever see him again, though.

something good that happened is that a chibi sailor moon cosplayer put a heart sticker on my sugarbunnies watch! i'll never take it off now. thank you! i also took a photo with her, so i will post that to my instagram. ^^

i hate how sheltered i sound but i forgive myself for acting so head strong and believing that i knew it all about socializing, even though i'm confident in myself. 

i'm happy to blog, for myself and anyone here to listen to me.

even though i live in a abusive and suppressive environment, i'm starting to prefer staying at home. i finally understand how ken feels. i thought i could survive a atmosphere that he wouldn't really like and i understand his bashfulness towards me. he doesnt like loud music and people and neither do i. i wouldn't have survived if it weren't for therapy. 

i want to be happy. i feel like i'm only alive for spite and i'm glad i'm just numb with irritation towards my horrible family right now because i would be depressed and self harming myself.

thanks for being here for me.

i hate pastors

 ⚠religious trauma⚠

i don't hate any pastors in specific. i'm not a christian anymore. i don't like pastors because they pretend that they are trying to help the greater good of their demographic by over-exaggerating their speech and taking the feedback energy to internalize it, believing they're this amazing person, but only their facade is "so amazing". a lot of pastors seem to be narcissistic, with a lot of deep insecurities that no licensed therapist can solve unless they dedicate thousands of hours of their time for them to feel better. 

that's why i stopped going to church. it feels like a thousand pastors watched a thousand videos on mind control on youtube. i can't take them seriously nor trust them. 

that's it. i said what i said.

I got two pretty cure plushies

 

Hi everyone. My Heartcatch Precure plushies just came in the mail. I absolutely love the theme song of that edition of pretty cure and I'm so happy to own this!! Cure Marine is my favorite one, but I love Cure Blossom's design as well. Here's to more precure merchandise for me ^_^

How to have a thin stomach (for girls)

 My stats:

• 5'2
• 1??kg

I've been struggling to lose some weight for some time. So I starved myself, and I... became happier with my appearance. My family was saying that my weight was just "melting off" over the weeks which gave me more motivation to do it more. I started to only eat pop tarts, literally until my teeth literally couldn't stand how gritty the icing tasted and how hard it was. My face became more slimmer.

I saw a dietitian and she told me that, starving myself is obviously not the way to go.

So from my research, here is my fool-proof way of getting a thin stomach naturally, along with DO's and DON'T's. Hope this helps! I want all of my readers to be happy with theirselves ^-^

DISCLAIMER: IM NOT A HEALTH PROFESSIONAL! IM JUST A TEENAGE GIRL, SO PLEASE HAVE CAUTION BEFORE USING MY TIPS! THANK YOU! ♡(੭˶•༝•˶)੭･:*ੈ♡‧₊˚:･

My motivation/objective for writing this

• I want to be a dancer so I want to heighten my stamina. I can literally dance for hours but it depends on the type of music, and I don't like feeling exhausted often.

Your diet

You know your body the best, so if you remember your foods that help you feel the best and really help your body feel good in the best way possible, not just temporary feel-good chemicals. 

Think of organic foods that help your body feel like it's in it's best state and try to give yourself a routine of eating it, like a diet. Try to track your progress at every evening. Food is fuel for your soul.

If you want your skin to glow, glow, glow, drink lots of water, okie?!

Exercises

Try to search online for exercises that focus on where you want to improve on the best, and trust the instructor. Please do not overextert yourself, though. If you can, try to include it in your schedule. Exercise, freaking, works. 

My gym teacher in HS told me that I can alter the exercise, as long as you are doing the main motions. You can still burn the same amount of calories.

Personal conclusion

I might start a thinspo collection on Pinterest. I really liked my original body before I had to deal with a uncomfortable amount of stress that I had no business experiencing. I feel like jealousy is a natural emotion as long as it doesn't let us possess us. I'm somewhat of a NEET, so I don't really get outside a lot, but I would like to work on myself more. Especially because I always loved physical activities like badminton and jump ropes. 

Thanks for reading this. I hope you are happy with your body. Please take care of yourself, and you'll be amazed at how much you'll thrive.

- Cassandra

- game review: oshare majo love & berry -

Brief Introduction

 i don't really have any childhood memories of playing the arcade versions of this franchise, even the ones in english, although I wish I did. I just got the DS game yesterday and played it for a few minutes so here is my pathetic review. Yay.

The Gameplay

So, you must tap the screen to the tambourine on the above screen to the beat. It's very simple and the timing is forgiving, unlike OTHER GAMES (parappa and space channel 5). I really am in love with the graphics. I like how they textured Love and Berry's hair. I also love almost all the designs of the clothes.

If you have item cards (shirts, hairstyles and shoes), you need a card reader and an DS lite to swipe the card into the game so the characters can successfully transform. 

The Music

the songs appear to be very simple, and to brainwash young girls into becoming good people, it seems. some of the lyric content includes mentions of good behavior, eating vegetables and simple hopes & dreams. a child's mind is truly simple because life has just begun, so i think this game seems to be a good rolemodel and influence for young girls. i think the writing is truly perfect for the demographic, the writers need a raise! :P

It would be fun to somehow cover these songs someday, so catchy yet simple and charming. I do find some of them a bit strange though. Well, SEGA used it's influence at the time to brainwash the masses.. right, so good job, SEGA. Nintendo, take your notes and eat your vegetables!

i'm a mega beginner when it comes to music production, but it reminds me that it's truly okay to write simple songs as long as the message can be conveyed and communicated accurately. it's nice to reference something from a kids' game because adults are writing the script and music.. right?

the music is said to be composed and performed by a small group named Rabbi☆min.

How I truly feel

In concept, this is truly my favorite game in the entire world. When I play it though, especially without a card reader, localization and cards, I feel depressed. I'm grateful to have own it, though. I just don't own a card reader and any cards, yet is all. I wonder if the English cards work with the Japanese DS games. I really need to get a card holder book, for my amiibo cards, pokemon cards, and OMLAB cards.

It's easy to envy these characters, especially with how much praise they get, although it counts as lore for the characters. 

Maybe I'm a bit too old for a game like this now, so I should finally pick up a copy of Idolmaster maybe for the DS or PSP.

Thank you for reading this.

- Mod Chiaki Nanami

Understanding Nintendo's cards

Back in the day, Nintendo created the e-reader for Gamecube games, specifically for Animal Crossing.

I've seen individuals print out cards with their respective barcodes that were just as functional as a legitmate card. 

Nowadays, Nintendo's amiibo cards works with a NFC chip. I've seen people make small circular chips with the villager's face on them that sell at more affordable prices on online websites to make their favorite character more accessible in the Animal Crossing fandom. 

I was thinking of making a wireless card reader for the Nintendo DS and Nintendo DS models that aren't the lite to easily play video games like Oshare Majo Love and Berry. So I'm researching it. I never really done a project like this before, so this is just a simple concept..!

I was inspired by how people were able to use illegitimate copies of e-reader cards and still get what they wanted from that card they were replicating. It's really hard to find convenient cards of OMLAB items that you exactly want, especially over the years. I need to do some more research, and maybe I have to make a modded version of the game or something. I have no experience with this, so this is merely a idea. 

I don't want to get in any trouble, and I just want to heighten my enjoyment of this game, with what Japanese skills I have as well.

- Mod Nanami

Explaining oshare majo love and berry to english-speaking audiences

 There is an english version of the game, but only the arcade version. They didn't realize it on the nintendo ds, internationally at that, so that's truly a shame. so here is my understanding of the game in english so that english speakers can understand.

Introduction

The game typically begins with Love and Berry waking up together in the same bedroom. Maybe they're roommates? My headcanon is that they are best friends that happen to live together.

This is the player's prompt to swipe a ITEM card so the protagonist (Love or Berry) can transform into whatever item they have chosen.

So I tried to play without a card reader and any cards, and fortunately enough, the game gives you default clothing if you really don't scan anything, but it appears that no matter how much you perform to the songs, if your character seems to feel 'underconfident' about the way she is dressed, it's practically impossible to get a high score. 

- THIS ENTRY IS A WIP -

-WILL BE UPDATED IN THE FUTURE-

- Mod Nanami

understanding the nintendo ds card reader

 ❥ released 2006.11.22

❥ MSRP: 5,800 yen (converted to USD is $36.22)

❥ Developer/creator: SEGA

Hardware usage

• It's plugged into the GBA slot of a Nintendo DS lite, and is only functional with three games that were developed for usage of the card reader.
• Apparently, every game that supports this device comes included with it, typically in a box fashion.
• Other names/terminology: Slot-2 device

Inner mechanics

❧ Once the "slot-2 device" is inside of the Nintendo DS, the software will try to read the mapped data to the GBA cart ROM.  The device is not a GBA cart, but it will return certain values when the Nintendo DS tries to understand that area of memory.  Keep in mind that since every "slot-2 device" is unique, it will return a specific pattern/series of bytes. The game can now determine if the correct accessory is installed.

❧ So this little device reverse engineers the DS Lite. The first stage of this is considered detecting the device. The software will run a number of tests to determine if something is really there, and determine what that something is. It can be comparable for searching for an ID.

Within Oshare Majo Love and Berry

• If the card reader is not detected, the game will display a warning.

Emulation progress has made it possible to have the most realistic engagement with the video games on your PC. 

I did not research this individually by myself, I used several online sources to help me with this post. Thanks for reading.

- Mod Nanami

my ultimate thoughts on school days

 I've had a lot of thoughts on this anime for a few years now. My friend Jin watched it so it prompted me to write down how I really and truly feel about this show, so hopefully I can let it go and define myself with more happier stories, even though after I'm done completely animating my personal projects, I will watch every single anime in my anime list, even if it's boring or confusing. I will try to log what I thought here. Kamisama I love blogger.

I'm not really one to complain about explicit intercourse scenes in anime unless it's eechi. it's part of life, so i appreciate the anime's morbid nature. 

I hate sekai. She's a attention seeker.

Kotonoha always deserved better in all universes.

i hate caribbean society

 do you think children are safe and protected in these communities? think again.

we're always rejected and criticized and scruntizied by our peers by how we look, especially girls and women. i hate the term "mini me" because the parents live through the children by projecting on them until they internalize it and they can't help but be a unstable mess that the parent will somehow "Fix" by abusing them until god knows what. and we are forced to accept it because "that's society". no, thats a group of insecure bumbling idiots.

i can't stand the food. half burnt chicken is a legitmate meal? no. the more burnt food you eat, the more you are at risk at developing cancer.

there's so much self hatred that runs rampant in these communities. you could say that's everywhere but you really need to love yourself. 

i hate this society.  i hate the bullies, especially the ones that are too old to bully literal fucking children. i hate the media. the only good thing about it is the architecture. 

in trinidad, i had to watch sexual music videos that were animated in my childhood if i wanted to engage in the culture that wasn't from america. i don't want to get shit for liking american things. who the fuck is approving of these things? these children are internalizing these things and i dont think its okay. im tired of disgusting and sad individuals projecting on the youth.

i dont like to be a part of my "mother's" culture at all. that's why i identify more with my father's side.

if you're offended about it, go cope and cry about it. 

٩(•͈ ꇴ •͈)و ̑̑❀ - Just tried starbucks

yay

i finally tried starbucks. everything looks very delicious and appealing in the commercials..

i got something with white chocolate. it was okay. i need to get things with whipped cream instead of just ordinary cream, lol. 

yay, a new coffee spot (◕▿◕✿)

- c.z.

 

I Desperately Want to be a Dallas Cheerleader

 Hi there. 

It's me, Cassandra.

I have been watching this show for around a year now and I was really excited to see it be posted on Netflix yesterday. I'm taking my time to watch everything.

I really do believe I have what it takes to be a cheerleader like the individuals I see in the episodes. I can't help but feel envious but I know all of those women got there by hard work, and I want to work hard too. Growing up, I barely had any chances to express myself and my spirit, so if I became a Dallas cheerleader, maybe I could finally heal from that dreadful experience. 

I'm really passionate when it comes to dancing and singing, although I know that there isn't much singing involved in the cheerleading I see on the show, for now. I'm in love with the show's production and everything. I don't have to worry about dramatized moments. It's admittedly a bit of a highlight reel but I seriously value seeing everyone's different perspectives, and I feel like the girls are getting good guidance from everyone.

I might train to be a professional dancer & singer in the future. I could be a cheerleader when I enter my 20's. I hope I can push through and show everyone what I can really do.

This cheerleader thing, is like a jaguar full of passion in my life. I love seeing the individual dancers perform. I really love the outfits and I would love to wear shorts like that, and I feel determined to get even more into shape and eat the right foods for me so I can have the best amount of confidence possible to be a cheerleader.

I really hope that one day, I can be a Dallas cheerleader,  or a cheerleader in any sense.

Thank you.

- Melody

[video script] the secrets of hair care

The main philosophy when it comes to general hair products, at least in America is that you purchase these items because you love your hair, so these hair products reinforce the texture of the hair that it's being marketed as. 

For example, if you have a shampoo specifically for curly hair, then it could make your hair more curly due to the chemical concoction in the product. 

So, knowing this, if you'd want to transform your hair texture, I could recommend that you should buy hair products for your desired hair type. This accounts for a lot of experimenting. Of course, obviously, you must be careful when you are doing this experiment.

My hair type changed a lot when I used hair products from another country, that were targeted towards another hair type.

I also use wavy hair mousse on my very complicated and curly, thick hair and my hair became thin with a less complicated curl pattern.

I hope this will help you, and remember, *whispers* this is a secret!!

Thank you for watching this.

my sugarbunnies watch finally arrived!

 heyo everyone i'm excited to tell all of you guys that my sugarbunnies watch finally arrived and its functioning! im a bit confused on the instructions though.. it didn't come with them.

anyway, it seemed to have been manufactured in 2010! its the brown bunny (yay lol). so yeah! yay for me!

- cassie zuo

Hair update

 I got my hair braided in a protective style as some of you guys may know. I was using my usual shampoo and conditioner and my hair texture completely changed. It became so thin and lovely to the point where I was worried if I'd accidentally tear my braids out as I washed it 😅

I'm excited because that was the hair texture I wanted my entire life though, so I seriously can't wait to experiment. Before it was curly but these hair products really transformed my hair, so I'm eternally grateful to everyone who developed these hair products. THANK YOU!

My Shugo Chara Fanfiction

 Starring:

⭐Amu Hinamori

⭐Ran

⭐Cassie Zuo (original character)

This fanfiction is about a American girl who wants to travel overseas to Asia to perform in Japanese, but her family is against it and close-minded, and tries to full her minds with fear of discrimination even though the girl knows the kind reality of how people actually work. Hinamori comforts her by transforming and defeating the X Egg, and the girl feels better and expresses her gratitude, saying she will become a pop idol thanks to her help after she recovers.

Target haul

 hi everyone i am back writing another blog post again yaay

okay so i got another taylor swift cd (the other ones were a bit pricey and i was on a budget). it was 1989. 

sorry if i make some errors, the senses in my face are a bit overwhelmed recently and i'm not sure why.

it comes with a 2-sided poster with a photo and a lyric memo. it's the rose garden pink edition, so that's pretty cool. 

then i got limited edition girls scout shampoo. as a little girl i always wanted to be a girls scout but never could for one reason or another, so i guess this is a nice gift for me and my inner child to buy with my own money.

that's it.

thanks for reading this

- c.z.

hikaru utada - automatic [rewrite]

 Even when I think about times when you are sad

Even when I think about times when I am sad, don't knock me

Even in my rainy days

My heart manages to still have a space for you, so SUN WILL SHINE...

It's automatic

So that's the way that I live, and I suppose it's okay

Doki-doki turns the mechanics of my heart..

I JUST CAN'T TELL.

IT'S AUTOMATIC.

Let me be held by you, as we get sent to a hidden paradise

The sirens in my head spin as we walk together holding hands

but I FEEL SO GOOD..

IT'S AUTOMATIC.

OH YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

How can one individual be so perfect?

In this world, anything can be

Funny how you could say the same about me..

Am I really that special? (smile)

Yes, I don't understand all the laws of attraction

I just exist and so do you

But in this wonderful pod of embracement

 Even when I think about times when you are sad

Even when I think about times when I am sad, don't knock me

Even in my rainy days

My heart manages to still have a space for you, so SUN WILL SHINE...

IT'S AUTOMATIC.

I wish I could embrace you through the computer screen

I F E E L S O W A R M, IT'S AUTOMATIC

So that is the way that I live, and that's honestly fine

The springs inside my heart get corrupted by mountains of pain

But when I look at you, my clock turns into shiawase mode

I JUST NEED YOU. (Yes, I do)

It's automatic,

your love, kisses and hugs are all for me, right? In our paradise?

KIRA-KIRA, the sparks in my engines arise

I FEEL SO GOOD, it's automatic

(humming)

hitomi - by myself [lyric rewrite]

I ask the health professionals

What should I do with my pain?

Here is my resolve..

Revolving days through revolving doors

Ongoing pain through the heart and body

Wallowing without choice

Loneliness is my theme day to day through life.

 it hurts when my heart tells me it wants to see you

Loneliness swallows me up more than a dragon to a knight

What should I do? only the world's kamisamas can resolve. . 

I understand the world doesn't revolve around me

That's the first lesson to life.

The moon sets and the sun rises

Yet I am the same colors

What should I do? only the world's kamisamas can resolve. .

Revolving days through revolving doors

Ongoing pain through the heart and body

Wallowing without choice

loneliness is my theme day to day through life.

cursed with ongoing pain through my functions

still, I try my best to get through the days

because to life is to fight.

the moon sets and the sun rises

yet i am the same colors.

What should I do? only the world's kamisamas can resolve..

did i learn how to sing through the suzuki method?

 hi everyone. so i'm going back to school pretty soon. i learnt of this program called the suzuki program. it's ironic and funny how i'm typing this while listening to ami suzuki. ha. anyway, the core of the program is being able to imitate singing from a recording. i'm surprised how there's terminology for this. i've been doing this my entire life.

?.?

- cassie zuo